Sitting in my chair at the Infusion Center that is UCSD Moores Cancer Center, I really want to be almost anywhere else…..can I still be beachside like last week, enjoying the sound of the lapping water against the sandy beach?? Watching a glorious sunset, that only happens at the shore….Can’t I be planning another exotic caribbean vacation with my buddies who enjoy the catamaran way of travel?? Can’t I backtrack a few months before this cancer diagnosis overtook my life and that of my family?? Please make it so….pretty please….I promise to be an amazing person in all things, I swear!
I gotta tell you, the last few weeks have been pretty special…got to spend a full 10 days oceanfront in La Jolla….now who could complain about that! My Mom was here visiting, along with my brother Chris and my niece Karlie.
I can’t explain it, there is something about the water that calms me, makes me feel good and even a little insignificant in the grand scheme of things, I love the water!! It is a bit daunting, though, to be told that NO, you cannot go in the water, don’t want to get the PICC line wet….got to worry about infection, just so you know….I am not one to sit on the shoreline AND watch others snorkel, scuba or swim….just not in my nature!!
Even though my laptop took a nosedive, it is on the mend, thanks to Randy and Brian….sorta kinda crazy how you get used to all this technology and it just never ceases to amaze me how it is all taken for granted…..so I have survived without a laptop for nearly 3 weeks! It is a miracle….
I now have a new tube sticking out of my body, the Pleurx catheter was put in on Monday. Now I realize that this will make life easier overall, I really, really didn’t want another surgically inserted something something to become a part of who I am. I totally get that I have to compromise with this illness—it definitely doesn’t make it any easier when I have to though. Along with the catheter, 1500 ml of fluid was once again drained from my left lung. I am trying to be upbeat about things, but to now be schooled in how best to drain fluids from my lung, I just never thought I would be doing this, you know??
I plug along…. I know it is a battle, a serious battle, just not sure if I am equipped with all the armor. For someone who has always been relatively healthy, this has been such a low blow…..I cannot even express my despair and yet, then I talk to people that are inspired by me….me, Peggy Smerik, go figure. Yes, I will plug along, find the strength I need to keep on keeping it on!
Peggy's Journey 
Oh yes, Peggy Smerik, you ARE inspiring! So glad to see your post and hear about your time in La Jolla. What’s next on your wish list these days? Home made cookies? A pet turtle? More time with Randy? A trip in a submarine so you can be IN the water but not get your PICC line wet? More quiet time to reflect? Or, less quiet time and more cavorting about with friends and family? I hope the PleurX catheter proves easy to use and spares you some trips to the hospital.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for sharing the good, the bad and the ugly of your journey with your fans. I cannot say I understand even 1/2 of the challenges you are facing, but I DO understand some because you are willing to share them with us.
Take care and let us know if there is anything we can do to help you or your family. Barbara and Craig
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Barbara, Thank you for putting into words how I feel about Peggy and her journey.
Peggy, love you!
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HI Peggy, this is Lainey MacArthur – Steve’s wife. We met you last March while we where in San Diego visiting my brother. I too am inspired by your wit and positive attitude and also thank you for sharing your journey with us. As you might remember, I lost my beautiful son Chris, in December to cancer; so I am all too familiar with so many of the things that you are going through. Like Chris, he had an amazing support system of friends and family and he never gave up! Just know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and we were so blessed by the graciousness of you and Randy while we dined at your restaurant. Love and blessing to you my friend!! Love, Lainey
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It was so nice being able to cook my world famous smash burgers for you last night. I hope we didn’t keep you up too late. Anything else you need, just let me know!
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Great to see you last week at the beach. A glorious day! You are strong and your resolve emboldens your strength. The fight is to become a survivor. There are many and you will be one. Power-Up. We love you so much.
Chris & Bea
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Hi Peggy, this is Linda Finch. I have been following you via your journey blog since the trip you took with your brother…what a hoot and I am jealous:) Many of your more recent experiences including the PICC and chemo zapping are so familiar to me as I went through them with my dearest friend in the world who we sadly lost a year ago. Your positive attitude is inspirational and I just say “YOU GO GIRL”.
Wish you could have made it for the eggs sardou today but there will be plenty of other opportunities for us to get together.
I have been wanting to let you know I am following you but wasn’t sure exctly what to say. Oh well, I have come to the realization it isn’t necessarily what I say but just letting you know I am here for you like so many others.
Keep up the good fight Peggy, and hope we’ll see you really soon.
XXXOOO
Linda
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Dear Peggy,
I am so impressed by how beautifully you write, your amazing attitude, and your willingness to share what’s going on physically and emotionally! You are very inspirational! Cancer is a terrible disease! Writing this blog is a thoughtful way for you to teach others about the disease, and it’s a great coping mechanism.
I’ve been praying for you and your family. I hope that all of you can be comforted by God’s unconditional love.
❤️🙏
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❤️ Aunt Peggy
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Hey Peg Leg (or was it Peg Arm?! hehe)! 😛 glad to see you’re back to blogging. I’m so glad technology allows me to come on this journey with you from 2500 miles away! I’m trying to find a time to come out there, maybe MLK weekend? Hope you’re feeling better this week. My mom is looking forward to her trip out in a few weeks. Miss ya lady! Keep fightin’ the good fight. Love and aloha from Florida xoxo -Katie
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Your words in this blog move me – much the same as when I first met you. You are a presence, and on fire, which is why I think you need the water to calm you down! I find the same sense of peace when I can stare at the ocean – gives me pause, when I don’t feel like I am able to pause. Go back there – have many stays at the Beach – vacation rentals are aplenty! – take a long break from inland and relish the sounds and sense of the water – even if you can’t go in it, it will give you that sense. I loved rounding the corner at the Beach Club, and there you were, sitting on the deck, in all your pink and purple glory!! Fight on. You have so many people fighting with you.
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