Author: peggyisawesome

On the road again……stopped at WalMart for a few items—necessities and then we are off to Zion.

What a freakin’ amazing day we had—motoring around in the Mini is great—We have been at the park since about 2PM, nearly 3 ½ hours.  It is a gorgeous day—mid 70’s—beautiful skies!!  We saw 4 Bighorn Sheep at 2 different spots—crazy amazing!!

We are at the Visitors Center now and Andy was able to get a car pass to go to Zion Canyon for today and tomorrow—it is shuttle only, unless you have the gift for gab like my baby brother has……I told you, he can talk to anyone, it’s a gift!  Anyways, the shuttles are always crowded and crazy full of people, and me in my chemo compromised body, doesn’t need to be going on the shuttle—that’s for sure!

We ate a great dinner at The Spotted Dog—had some fabulous pasta and Andy went for the veggie burger—Delish!  We did do a bit of a round-a-bout—saw bits of Utah that we wouldn’t have seen otherwise….we got lost…or we forgot to put the right address in…..anyways it is not the destination, it is the journey….Day 2 of National Park Bucket List (NPBL)…..What a freakin’ fabulous day  😉

I am doing it….getting ready for my road trip to The Land of Utah and some fabulous places to see.  We are probably going to stop at Las Vegas tonight and will head to Zion National Park tomorrow—I cannot wait!!  Brian is bringing Andy up to Poway as we speak……WE are hoping to hit the road by 1 PM, oh baby, you better keep an eye out for an electric blue Mini Cooper Convertible, because we are going to be a force to be reckoned with!

As I write this, I still need to finish up on my packing, get all my meds together, and try to see how everything will fit in my Mini….but no worries, I can be pretty resourceful when push comes to shove.  We have a pretty flexible schedule…Friday night painting the town of Las Vegas red, then head out for Zion and we are spending 2 days and nights in that area.  We are then off to Moab, which will be our homebase for a few days.  Within an hour of Moab there are several parks, we will be visiting Arches and Canyonland National Parks for sure.  The rest we are just gonna see where the road takes us.  Well, I gotta go now—hitting the road and all, we will try and dial in remotely and having a truly wonderful time………..

… it’s 1:05pm on a beautiful sunny Friday, Sept 23 …. Andy and I just took off!!

 

 

 

Friends are such a gift….and I am truly blessed with some amazing people that are in my life or have passed through my circle on my moments that I have been crazily be-bopping around this planet.  Monday was a great get-together of some of the lovely ladies that I speak of.  An impromptu soiree of some of my besties from up north or as the folks at Solare sometimes call PowaZonia….yes, that area some 20 miles north of the city, where Randy and I have made our home most of our 32 years in San Diego….POWAY.

I have to say, not all my besties were there, and from the response, this will certainly not be the last of these fabulous “Manic Monday” gatherings.  Many were made up of the “teaching crowd”, the wonderful women who I’ve crossed paths with while working for the Poway School District and beyond.  I have to say, some awe-inspiring folks, who dedicate their days to making the experience our children receive on a daily basis truly exceptional! I miss my everyday fun at Sundance Elementary, and the special group that worked with me in the ASD Pre-K Special Day Class.  I have to recognize and put out a tremendous shout-out to that wonderful handful of women….Dana, Adie, Dee, Omana, MJ, Diane and Karin. You guys made the 10 years working alongside you a gift and some beautiful friendships that I truly treasure.

So, on Monday evening, my family, Brian and Tommy brought Solare to our “Party Patio” and did their Momma proud!!  We had fabulous food and wonderful cocktails and the men in my life really brought a loved filled smile to my face.  I have talked about those special moments when you actually take time and realize that this is it, when you take a breath and absorb the love and embrace it, my boys gave me that on Monday, thank you Brian and Tommy, you are the best!!  I don’t believe this will be an easy evening to top, from the food and beverage front, but you know me, we will certainly try!!

It was a truly wonderful way to start a bit of a stressful week….Tuesday was a morning filled with doctor’s appointments, lab work and x-rays.  We went to my ”Lung Guy”, got tapped for another 1.5 liters, sorta kinda knew that was coming, still not anything I looked forward to…..crazy to say, they have drained well over 2 gallons of this excess fluid since this all started, just 2 months ago.  At this point, we are aware of the possible need for a catheter for my left lung….I am just not ready for it…I may be vain… may be not accepting it….I just know, that once this is in, it will be apart of me and right now, I am not ready to accept it as part of who I am, YET…..now I know in the not too distant future, there won’t be a choice about a lung catheter for me and my family to self-drain excess fluids at home, but right now I am holding out as long as I can for my new normal without it!!

As I type, I am reflecting on my second round of Chemo, which starts in a few hours.  I am an early morning blogger today, but sometimes my best stuff flows during the pre-dawn hours.  So today, I am thinking of all my peeps, those special friends and family, near and far, thanks for spurring me on, for circling the wagons and showing me the love.  There is no better time for it, and I need all the good, pure thoughts that you all put out there in the universe…..don’t you worry either, I grab all that positivity, even though it might not all be for me…..I tend to share—so Randy, Brian and Tommy get the positive flow when I can spare it!!

So, as I smell the fresh air, clean from our recent rain, yep-that’s right, weather in San Diego, who would have thought, I get ready for my day and week beyond.  I am very excited about my travels with my brother Andy, our plans are a bit flexible—but we definitely hit the road on Friday!!  I will be taking tons of pictures, hopefully I will figure out the whole art of posting remotely, but know I will be thinking of you all as we travel the parks.

So, I was feeling the need for a burst of color—accordingly, that’s what I did yesterday—pink of course, with a wonderful splash of purple.  I can say for sure, I am memorable….maybe I always have been, but now I know, people tend to remember the older chick with the “stop the show” pink and purple hair…..and that’s okay….it gives me power and I freakin’ need all the power I can muster right now!!

Did a bit of traveling this week…..at least on Thursday. I was swimming in Hawaii!  Yep, that’s right, took myself to last summer, Randy and I were swimming with the turtles at Napili on Maui—I am at the infusion center and when the nurse was getting my IV all set—I was swimming in Hawaii…just one of those perfect days, so another Happy Place has been uncovered.  You know a lot of my Happy Places involve my family….camping, traveling, family get-togethers and friends….parties, dinners, concerts…..the list could go on and on.  For today, travel is on my brain, so I am going to some of my favorite places that I’ve traveled to over the years.

* Madrid, Spain—there is a plaza with frescoes….Plaza Major…..one of my favorite people watching places in the world!

*Pamplona, Spain—the extreme party of San Fermin–without question the biggest, fun-est party anywhere on the planet.

*Siena, Italy—festive and cultural, bringing back medieval times during Il Palio, fabulous horse race—so cool.

*Kyoto, Japan—my first international travel in 1990—the golden palace/the Japanese gardens/maple tree festival along the river—everything was so new and beautiful and exciting.

*Jerusalem, Israel—walking through this ancient city for the first time…spiritual, such cultural diversity and just extremely amazing that 4 distinctive quarters where they have been neighbors for a millennium—though religion and culture differ so dramatically.

*The Masada, Israel and the Dead Sea—such a testament to the strength of the people who survived against unsurmountable odds and in very environmentally hostile areas.

These are just a few of those places that I can conjure up on a whim—those happy moments of a new discovery.  It is great to find that perfect wine bar or stop for food that turns into something you can’t wait to tell your friends about, and it becomes just a magical moment when all the stars line up and there is no way you could have planned a more quintessentially exceptional happening.  And I have to smile, because I know that not everyone experiences these for instances. I am ecstatic—that I have had my fair share and I have had the good fortune to experience them with family and friends. I can’t wait to experience many, many more!!

Last night, we had the honor of celebrating the wedding of Mackinzie and Billy Erickson.  It was such a reminder for me of the vows Randy and I took many, many years ago—they are so young, so in love and surrounded by family and friends.  It was one of those magical moments that I am so glad to have been apart of.

Another gorgeous morning here in Poway—I am starting to plan my first bucket list adventure!  My brother Andy will be flying in next week—and hopefully on Friday the 23^rd, we will be hitting the road in my Mini Cooper and heading off to National Parks that I have not visited yet.  We plan to visit Mesa Verde, Arches and Bryce Canyon National Parks.  That is a pretty full week of tooling around, but I think it is doable.

Let me tell you as little about my brother.  Andy is my youngest sibling-who I lovingly refer to as “The Baby” even though he is quickly approaching 47!  Andy, is the husband, father of 3, triathlete, a good man and friend. He is a guy who can pick up a conversation with anyone, I swear!  Being almost 9 years his senior, I have tried to pass on little tidbits of knowledge, but generally love when we can sit and BS on the phone for a few minutes. Andy called shortly after my diagnosis to let me know if there was anywhere I wanted to go, he was there and in a heartbeat here he is. Before my blog and bucket list was put out there, Andy put the seed in my brain, that yeah, I can still do stuff like this.  I can dream and go out and visit those places I haven’t had the time to go to. So, I say this lovingly, Kiss My Ass Baby, and I literally mean you, Andy, you jump-started me dreaming of my bucket list and now it is becoming a reality.

Any trip of this type takes some advance prep—but for me, there are now extra precautions to consider and it totally burns my butt that I am in a “Needy” category.  I may be a little needy, but I refuse to not try and take this adventure by the horns.  For me, at this time, high elevations may be an issue. One of the reasons Randy and I went to Palomar Mountain this past weekend was to check and see how I did on the mountain.  I did great at 5500 feet, we will have to really see where these parks land on the elevation scale and go from there.

Alas, another thing to consider– hospital facilities within a 90 minute drive.  Once you enter chemotherapy treatment, your natural immune system is just shot all to hell!!  There really is no way to sugar coat that.  Any fever, over 100.4—is considered life threatening and you have to seek emergency treatment!!  Pretty scary shit!!  So, in planning my road trip/national park trek—I need to know where the hospital facilities are.

Now, I know my Mom is probably saying “Stay home, you don’t need to do this” , I love and respect my Mom, but feel like I am on a limited budget, as far as time goes, and plan on having a freakin amazing adventure with what I’ve got!  Everyday has its own special significance now.  Randy and I, enjoying early morning quietness, on a mountaintop where we camped with our boys when they were little boys—So, we are together, on the mountain and during this medical battle and I could not have a more involved advocate…Randy…. I thank my lucky stars everyday that we are facing things together.

 

My first satellite blog entry … from 5500 foot elevation ….It is so pretty here-green and alive with woodpeckers, squirrels, blue jays and the buzzing of bees and many insects—Fry Creek Campground at Palomar Mountain.  We are at Site #20, which we have camped at many, many times.  This site is one of my favs because of the rock outcropping that borders it that is filled with morteros and also because of the memories of all our past visits.

In the blink of an eye, I can hear Brian reading Robinson Crusoe aloud around the campfire.  I close my eyes and see Tommy at five or six, playing with his action figures among the morteros.  The fire-ring holds images of many  s’mores from days gone by.  And most of all, it is so peaceful!

This is the first time in seems like forever that Randy and I have solo camped.  Though typically we travel some of the hiking trails—I don’t believe it is in my cards on this visit—just trudging from the car to the campsite is taxing.  😦  So for now I am very content to sit by my nice morning fire, sipping my coffee and enjoying the breeze flowing thru the trees.  It is a beautiful canopy in a serene canvas that I am soooo glad to be able to enjoy.  🙂

It is very hard for me to really fathom my current health dilemma.  I mean who writes a bucket list at 55!!  No way—no how – am I even remotely prepared for my cancer battle.  I mean seriously I am not done yet….not by a long shot!! But now it is a constant on my mind…..but, it’s nice that I can still enjoy the soft swaying of the breeze as it passes thru my own little piece of heaven  🙂

Me again!!  It has been a crazy week … lots of appointments and what-not. So I will do a little backtracking, and let you know what Peggy’s World has been like. On Thursday, another treatment already!!  No chemo today, just clinical study drugs, Thank God.  I had an Upper GI done yesterday, normally it wouldn’t have been a deal, but there was a real possibility that the cancer had spread to my stomach.  I am most happy to say that there is no cancer in my belly, a little acid reflux, but hey, that is absolutely doable. Not a lot of people knew the worry I had about this Upper GI—having cancer in my stomach would have been a game changer!  So, other than being totally wiped out, no food 12 hours before or liquid 4 hours prior to the procedure—I am feeling pretty sassy today and that is a good thing!

I am truly amazed by the outpouring of love and encouragement that I get on a daily basis—you have no idea how that spurs me on!  Though I do have to say, nothing tasted quite as good as my In-n-Out Cheeseburger, Animal Fries and Pink Lemonade yesterday, one of my most guilty pleasures.  I can’t believe how things have changed in just a few short weeks.  Absolutely crazy!!

So, I totally went to UCSD, totally had my clinical trial drugs, get ready to leave and in the space next to mine—someone brought lunch in to enjoy with a patient, now NORMALLY it would not have been a deal—but since everything I do is on hyper sensitivity, I had to scramble, I mean dash or I was going to get violently ill or pass out.  I’d like to think I am not so sensitive about things—but now we can write it on the list—strong smells in the infusion center, have a tendency to do me in.  And it took me forever…at least 45 minutes for it to pass.  Thanks Rhien for being uber patient, that’s right, had my 2^nd Acupuncture treatment and will continue.  I am game for anything to help me muddle through this medical mayhem!!

Had a fun afternoon, that’s for sure, my friend Yvonne came with her Diamond Edition Scrabble, ready to kick my butt.  We are very satisfied with an ultra close game and are still working out the rules for our sort of scrabble play.  Let’s just say, that when someone comes armed with their game AND dictionary it can be a little daunting.  Thanks Yvonne—can’t wait for Round 2!!

I am still trying to find my new normal—I thought that everything would just drop into place and that is really not true—don’t know if my new normal is very “NORMAL” at all.  But, I am going to continue chugging on, cause otherwise what’s the sense in getting out of the bed in the morning.  Friday brought another early doctor’s appointment with my Pulmonologist—better known as the Lung Doc, I now have a standing appointment set up to check the fluids in my chest and also drain—eeehhhh-that’s right, drain if necessary.  And low and behold it was necessary for me to have a thoracentesis yesterday, approximately 1.5 liters was drained—not a pleasant procedure, but an ongoing issue with this type of cancer is the accumulation of fluids in the lining of the lung—I say better out than in!! 

And because I am feeling so much lighter…..my good friend Dana and I went snorkeling first thing today in La Jolla and swam with leopard sharks-probably 35-40, sting rays and also a shovel nose sand shark.  It was absolutely amazing!!  Some people might think I am risking things, by getting in the water after the procedure I had yesterday—and for me it would be abnormal if I even question swimming and snorkeling when the Leopard Sharks are crashing in the waves with you.  You all should know for sure that I am not gonna sit back and let life pass me by—I cherish every freakin’ day I am on the planet with my family and friends and not a moment is gonna be wasted second guessing my decisions.

 

Well I gotta tell you—this chemo shit is crazy—I mean I have been enveloped with this absolute bone stopping fatigue like I’ve never experienced before.  I am as lazy as the next guy, but seriously, never have I been just overcome with unending fatigue!  So, as far as side effects go, I cannot complain—I will take a little bit of tiredness to nausea and vomiting anyday.

My big outing on Tuesday was to touch up my color, no worries, the pink is still raging, but I’ve added some crazy electric blue to the cause and I gotta say that I LOVE IT!!  What do you think??  Thank you Cindy, you are the master with all colors electric—and I can’t tell you how it does my spirit good to get sassy as hell with the hair color!!

 

What a day – what a party we had!! Great friends, good food, and wonderful weather—couldn’t ask for much more. 

Sooo, a few weeks ago, I wanted to get a gathering together, for lots of reasons….absolutely to reaffirm my conscious battle to slay the monster—this illness really has a tendency to put things in a different prospective….I mean, it really makes you appreciates the small bits……Soooo, in celebrating a happy Sunday with a very Happy group!! And also did the Grand Opening of a bottle of wine that has been cellared for almost 20 years!!  This bottle, is a commitment, 9 liters, that is a full case of wine in one bottle, Orfila 1997 Ambassador’s Reserve Merlot.   And we did not have a problem finishing it!

We have journeyed, have traveled, have started down the path with sooo many friends and family.  So we know that this is no sunny drive in the afternoon, sorta ride, it is a balls to the walls drag race, and though we slipped up this sloppy slope, we are going to be doing it together, Randy and I and my boys and their girls and all my other peeps!!!

I had such a Kick Ass kind of Sunday, yesterday:  Number 1–the party was at home, and when I did get tired and needed a catnap, I got to take it.  Number 2—A great gathering of family and friends, that was crazy exciting , much pink hair was blossoming (Thanks Elisa!!- you had it all-2 kinds of hair dye: hair dye for a day color or up to two weeks of the pink) All in all just a fabulous day!!  Number 3–You know, one of those days that you take stock of the people in your life, that love and spiritual connection that sometimes takes place ……yesterday, was one of those days!!

So to have a wonderful day to celebrate our anniversary—35 years!!  Who would have thought it!!

And my heart feels happy!

 

Today is starting out just GREAT!  Slept like a baby…thank you very much. So far, so good on chemo side effects–please everyone knock on wood that it stays that way.  Some magical elves came in the wee hours of the night and filled my fridge with scrumptious meals and juices. Thank you very very much Maria, Brian, Tommy and Mark.  I am enjoying some most delicious Orange Carrot Ginger juice right now and it is heavenly!!

I have to say that I am overwhelmed by the responses that my writings have generated—and the GO PINK FOR PEGGY Challenge, FANTASTIC!!! I have to tell you, I was just being rebellious, when I  went and got my hair cut super short and I really needed to almost make myself anew, and hence the raging pink and now a little subdued purple, these have become my battle colors!  I know it sounds silly, but the hair change has definitely empowered me…..with so much of my daily life spinning out of my control, this short cut and marvelous color was all about what I wanted and I LOVE IT!  So, if and I may I say IF you decide to rage on with a little extra sassy color in your hair….PLEASE…PLEASE…PLEASE send me a picture, I cannot tell you how much it makes my day!  That shout out goes to you Karin, Greg, Dottie and Emma!  Rage On!!!