Author: peggyisawesome

The New Year has begun with a bang!!  Woot woot….2017!!  I haven’t gone down the resolution route this year (though, I never really made resolutions anyway), I am just determined to seize the day, as much as possible!!  I have had the good fortune of many visitors throughout December and carrying over to January.

 

Right now I am enjoying the company of my forever friend Cheri and her husband Craig…..we have had a whirlwind of a weekend….traveling to and exploring Seattle…it was fabulous!!  Thanks guys, I know that I would not have gotten to the Pacific Northwest in early January without a bit of pushing, it was the best way to start 2017!! Though they have visited Seattle many times, we all got to experience some touristy Seattle spots together for the first time!

Loved the excitement of Pike Street Market…. And the “Gum Wall”, though that was a little disgusting!!  Saw where the original Starbucks came to life and enjoyed some fabulous clam chowder.  There was definitely a lot to behold and Seattle is very much a walking city…..I am what you would call a thin blooded southern Californian girl who was a little taken aback by the highs of 34* on Friday……I was able to acclimate though, but gotta say, for as cold as it was, it was extremely clear…..we were able to see Mt. Ranier and even Mt. Baker, which I guess is pretty extraordinary!!

It was an action packed couple of days….my favorite spot on our Seattle tour was the Chihuly Garden and Glass……absolutely breathtaking.  We are now back in our digs in Poway California, enjoying a late breakfast as the rain softly falls…..yes we are getting a bit of weather which is great!  I now have some new friends in Claire and Dave, who opened their house for us and also the knowledge of their 35+ years of living on Mercer Island.  Thanks so much for your hospitality and fun, especially when watching the Seahawks proceed forward in their Super Bowl quest…..you know, I still question that 12^th man stuff…..but ya gotta let Seattle have that…..they have earned that along with the best coffee in the pacific northwest!

So, in closing, I do hope to tackle quite a few more bucket list items this year….and I will let you know as I journey forward.  So, here’s to a New Year, may it be merry and full of fabulous things for you and yours…..I am surely counting on 2017 to being filled with hope, love and healing healthy times!!

Happy Christmas Eve!  I cannot believe that Christmas is happening tomorrow.  I have had a crazy few weeks since I have last blogged.  By far, the biggest news is that I had my last chemo on Wednesday of last week (December 14).  Now , chemo has not been a walk through the park, that is for sure…..and it really seemed that each infusion was taking more and more to recover from….but I made it, no more chemo in the foreseeable future and that is fabulous!

Now I will still go in to UCSD every week, I am still in the clinical trial, and I am of the firm belief that I am getting the miracle drug, that’s right, no placebo for me.  This will continue until things start looking in need of adjustment…that is, when my disease progresses, ie. tumors grow.  I could be in this study for the next few months or the next few years, there is no way of knowing.

So, as I celebrate this Holiday Season with family and friends, there may be just a little more joy and love, because I am one lucky lady to be here ringing in the New Year ……and you know I may be a little over the top…….but it is all good, because for me the celebration isn’t just the season, it’s the fact that here I am, breathing in and out, making the most of a really crazy medical mayhem for the last five months and striding forward, to see what may wait for me around the corner.  And, I could not have done it without all of you!

As we head swiftly to the Thanksgiving Holiday, I am full of appreciation and amazement as to my own thankfulness in the eye of all that has been thrust upon myself and my family in the short span of five months.  Since July 2016, I myself have not had too, too many good news coming down the pike as far as the ever growing health issues that have become my being.  BUT….I finally have some good news,some positive news….yes, my tumors are reacting positively to my regiment of chemo and or clinical study drugs!!  They are shrinking and I could not be happier.

So, as I embrace the holiday season, I am ever thankful for the support of my family and friends and I can say without a doubt that you guys who follow my rants and raves on this blog forum, you guys really do prop me up and urge me onward when I least expect it, so thank you.  Now I am going to be enjoying a turkey dinner like no other, as we do every year, in our desert oasis and I wish that all of you enjoy a fabulous holiday with family, friends and loved ones….for I am truly a testament that you never really know what may be in store for you around the corner, so take a moment and take stock and then go for the gusto…be true to yourself, but mostly embrace those around you and celebrate like no other.

Sitting in my chair at the Infusion Center that is UCSD Moores Cancer Center, I really want to be almost anywhere else…..can I still be beachside like last week, enjoying the sound of the lapping water against the sandy beach??  Watching a glorious sunset, that only happens at the shore….Can’t I be planning another exotic caribbean vacation with my buddies who enjoy the catamaran way of travel??  Can’t I backtrack a few months before this cancer diagnosis overtook my life and that of my family??  Please make it so….pretty please….I promise  to be an amazing person in all things, I swear!

I gotta tell you, the last few weeks have been pretty special…got to spend a full 10 days oceanfront in La Jolla….now who could complain about that!  My Mom was here visiting, along with my brother Chris and my niece Karlie.

I can’t explain it, there is something about the water that calms me, makes me feel good and even a little insignificant in the grand scheme of things, I love the water!!  It is a bit daunting, though, to be told that NO, you cannot go in the water, don’t want to get the PICC line wet….got to worry about infection, just so you know….I am not one to sit on the shoreline AND watch others snorkel, scuba or swim….just not in my nature!!

Even though my laptop took a nosedive, it is on the mend, thanks to Randy and Brian….sorta kinda crazy how you get used to all this technology and it just never ceases to amaze me how it is all taken for granted…..so I have survived without a laptop for nearly 3 weeks!  It is a miracle….

I now have a new tube sticking out of my body, the Pleurx catheter was put in on Monday.  Now I realize that this will make life easier overall, I really, really didn’t want another surgically inserted something something to become a part of who I am.  I totally get that I have to compromise with this illness—it definitely doesn’t make it any easier when I have to though.  Along with the catheter, 1500 ml of fluid was once again drained from my left lung.  I am trying to be upbeat about things, but to now be schooled in how best to drain fluids from my lung, I just never thought I would be doing this, you know??

I plug along…. I know it is a battle, a serious battle, just not sure if I am equipped with all the armor.  For someone who has always been relatively healthy, this has been such a low blow…..I cannot even express my despair and yet, then I talk to people that are inspired by me….me, Peggy Smerik, go figure.  Yes, I will plug along, find the strength I need to keep on keeping it on!

It has been more than a few days since I checked in to give you updates on what’s happening in Peggy’s World.  A little over a week ago I went and had my third round of chemo…..and it seems that as things are going for me—each chemo is getting a little bit tougher to bounce back from.  Anyways, in other words, chemo is really starting to kick my ass!

Then — on Friday, I got to see my Lung Doc, got tapped for an additional 1500 ml of fluid, the biggest thing though was the decision to go ahead with a Pleurex procedure.  This is something that I really did my best to avoid…..basically it is a procedure that will surgically implant a catheter to my left lung, thus there will be no more thorocentisis-that is, needle poking to drain the nastiness of the fluid that builds up with this cancer.  I know that getting the Pleurex catheter will limit the possible infection and make my life easier, but for me it will be one more thing that will become a permanent fixture and right now I am not very happy about it!!

This week I am very excited because my sister Ann and niece Melissa arrived on Wednesday….it has been great having women in the house—not planning to do much of anything, but having a great time just being together.  There has been more cookie baking in my house in the last few days then in the previous two months…..Randy, Brian and Tommy will be very happy!

Also, had a Happy Hour at my house on Thursday, thank goodness Ann and Melissa were here to help me get it all together…I was still feeling very puny from the chemo from the previous week.  It was fabulous seeing the great group of women that gathered here on Thursday….each and everyone of them have my back, I could ask anything and they would do their best to deliver.

I am really working hard to find my new normal—the rules to the game have changed beyond anything that I think is fair, but life is not always fair I have found.  I have to say, I have become very open to all means of healing, whether it be chemo or clinical study drugs, acupuncture, CBD medications….I am open to it all.  I do get a calmness and balance from acupuncture, and Riann, my friend and acupuncturist, has been a godsend—I got to enjoy the treatment on my back patio in the glory of the early morning sun, it was fabulous!!

Another fun outing with the girls……the makeup counter at Macy’s……I really really needed some assistance in making my poor chemo splotchy face a little more full of color, without making it look too unnatural……a tall order for someone who generally does not wear makeup at all!!  We had a sassy Brit who really thinks I should get rid of the fluffiness that is my eyebrows….I mean all of them…I can easily just paint them on every day……I gotta tell you, that is so NOT me!  But all in all, a fun afternoon in makeup heaven….a girly girl thing to do that I haven’t done in years!  I have a day or so before Ann and Melissa leave and I will miss them, that is for sure……but my Momma comes next week and that will be an extremely fun time too!  We are headed to the beach…so hopefully the waters are warm, the sun will be shining and the cabana boys are ready for Peggy and Janie, because here we come!!

Happy Tuesday for me…..got my PICC Line put in today….oh, happy day!!  This will make chemo infusions and blood draws sooooo much easier.  On Friday, my infusion was just such a painful experience, it took 3 attempts and 40 minutes to find a vein……not any longer—got my PICC Line….I could almost do a dance!!

Tomorrow is another Chemo Day already … my 3rd …..can’t believe my treatments have only started on September 1, because it seems like a lifetime ago.  I certainly look at things in a different way, that is for sure!!

Did I mention what a great weekend I with my friend Karen?  (Friends since high school!)   It was good that the expectation level was set a little low, because I didn’t have a lot of energy.  That is something I don’t quite understand—you spend a few days in the hospital and it takes like a week to recover?? Strange, huh?  On Saturday we went to see a movie “Sully” and then to The Poseidon in Del Mar for a beverage and to watch the sunset.  Del Mar is my favorite stretch of beach and to enjoy a beautiful sunset with Karen was great!!  On Sunday we went out to lunch, but the best part was tooling around with the convertible top down in my Mini—priceless!

This week is all about recovering and recuperating from the freakin’ nasty blood clots that have been my life for the last two weeks.  The sooner the blood clot saga is behind me—the better.  So besides the ever present doctors visits, I will be hanging at the house and regaining my strength and stamina……a very good plan in my book.

Let’s backtrack …… not to last week that is for sure (no no no!) …. but I gotta go back to Our Big Adventure — Let me tell you a little more about my National Park Adventure with Andy.  First of all, it was a load of fun!!! It wasn’t all hospitals and blood clots …. we saw some absolutely stunning places in a few short days and I really cannot wait until I can get the ok to go out on the road again!!

We were able to enjoy nearly 2 full days in Zion which was fabulous.  After our infamous trek through the Riverwalk and the subsequent stay at Arrowhead B & B, we made a hasty exit to Cedar City via Rt.14…….this drive was beautiful!!  Got to see the changing Ash trees—a golden sea amongst the pines, it was just such a spectacular drive.  Of course, we were going to return and stop at all the scenic roadside stops, unfortunately, because of my nasty DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis), we were unable to return to this little piece of heaven, known as Dixie National Forest, but hopefully I will be able to venture there again sometime soon.

As we are leaving the InterMountain Hospital in Cedar City, Andy is already scoping out where we will be staying for the night and also a cool place to stop on our way to St. George, our destination for the night.  Low and behold, Andy finds Kolob Canyon, a part of Zion National Park, probably one of the least traveled parts of the park for sure.  We are in for a treat, not only is it gimp friendly, but the scenic drive opens up into this breathtaking vista of Zion Valley, words can’t describe the beauty.  It was perhaps one of my favorite places that we stopped, enjoyed a beer, and just soaked in the surroundings.  Pretty cool considering I had just gotten released from the hospital, but that is how we roll!!

We arrive at St. George, Utah, a border town, located just before the Arizona border.  Now Andy has been raving about the biking/hiking/running paths that were all about St. George, pretty amazing, huh? Trails that go under freeways, through scenic spots and are an absolute fascinating labyrinth of trails.    Now we have put a ton of miles on the road by now, and you think, mmm can I do another 5-7 hours in that car??  A part of me is saying…No, absolutely not….and the realist in me is saying, you gotta go to get back to your spot in Poway.  I can say with absolutely no qualms that the stretch of the 15 freeway from St. George, Utah to Mesquite, Nevada via a tiny slice of Arizona is just a beautiful way to start the day….just absolutely gorgeous!

We head fast to Vegas and then the final push to Poway.  In Las Vegas—we experience the scenic drive of Red Rock Canyon.  It was a gorgeous day and I was a little sad that our time on our adventure was coming to a close.  We enjoyed the canyon for a few hours and then headed south to Poway.

Hello—I know it has totally been awhile since I have given you folks an update—well, let me tell you a bit about my week…..On Monday morning Randy and I were driving to the ER at Palomar Medical Center, expecting to returning home in a few hours…..well, fast forward to Thursday, finally arriving home at 4:00 in the afternoon.  After stays in 2 different hospitals, 2 different vascular procedures and 3 ½ days in a hospital, I was absolutely ecstatic to be home, I cannot express the joy of sleeping in my own bed…heaven!

So it seems like I have an uncanny need to produce blood clots…..On Monday, it was discovered that I had 4-5 new blood clots in my left leg….while I was on Lovenox, a blood thinner….the top of the line anti-coagulant  with people dealing with cancer.  Anyway, with me, it was discovered that I had a rare (go figure!) syndrome, May-Thurner Syndrome, and that is why I developed more nasty clots.

So now I have a filter, an IVC filter to catch any blood clots before they hit the heart, lungs or brain.  Thank you very much.  I also got roto-rootered of all blood clots (with a Thrombolysis machine – I was the first one to use it at the hospital!) and then suctioned of all the nasty things—good riddance!!  So, that was my week…totally crazy, definitely unexpected and I am oh so glad to be home.   My forever friend Karen, made the trek from Boulder yesterday and will be here through Sunday evening.  The perfect time for a visit, absolutely perfect.

Nearly a week has gone by since I last updated you folks.  Well, I gotta tell you the whole deep vein thrombosis thing is a complete pain in my leg!  No way No how did I think that a blood clot would have this much of an effect on me…..WRONG…..at this stage of the game, my blood clot is not stable….so, walking is limited to once an hour….elevating and resting is what is done the rest of the time.  Anyone who knows me, knows that at times, I have a wee bit of difficulty just relaxing…..well, add on a huge amount of swelling and pain in moving about…and you have it!  A not so happy Peggy, with swollen left ankle and leg, trying to maneuver my way around our house/patio……it is not a sight that all should see and very few will brave.

Soooo, just to give you a visual…..I am now injecting medicine 2 x a day……that’s right, INJECTING…..I have become far more familiar with veins and IV’s in the last few weeks, but no where did I sign up to inject myself twice a day.  Call me a wimp….I still do NOT like needles.  So, it is a twist of faith that I am now injecting my medicine for at least the next 3 months, possibly the next 6 months!!!  Like I said, not my favorite part of the day!

Possibly, the most agonizing realization….the pain that comes with a blood clot….I mean suck in air, try not to wince, it will be ok, I can make it….but maybe not really…that look has become my facial glazed look when moving about.  I do not like it….have I told you that already???  I mean, I do not like it at all!!  So, in trying to find my new normal—the whole blood clot thing—-definitely a nasty curve that I was not expecting.  I will power on, as I do best, but I have to admit it took me a few days to get my mojo back.

The Baby, that would be Andy to you all, has already left the west coast and made it to the mighty Midwestern town of Cincinnati this morning.  I cannot say enough as to how Andy handled things in a pretty stressful, medical emergency way….totally calm, but I knew his angst, as  he was driving just a little faster than normal to get us to the hospital and me to a safe medical environment where they could take care of all my problems.  So Andy, I gotta give you some major kudos!!  You got me to medical facility lickety split and then once we were headed San Diego way, made sure that the journey still had some fun in it!! I cannot think of anyone I would rather start my Bucket List Adventures with than my youngest brother Andy—thanks for making it a reality and whole lot of exciting from start to finish!

Now I have to pay a major tribute to my Mom, Jane.  She surprised me this week and I can only tell you that it put a special loving feeling in my soul—thanks Mom for stepping beyond the norm and going with your gut.  I believe, I must get my adventurous side from my momma and I cannot thank you enough!

We are loving tooling around the parks, that is for sure.  Zion has got to be one of the most beautiful places on earth. We got a later start on Sunday, probably didn’t make it to the trail, The RiverWalk, till 11:00 in the morning.  Now this little hike is a gentle 1 ½ mile route.  It makes me sad to realize that I was unable to complete the entire loop.  It just hurt my feelings.  You know I have to give my body a break—the elevation is up there and let’s face it, I haven’t been hiking any trails in the last few weeks.

Lunch at MeMe’s was fabulous, veggie grilled cheese and Andy went for the chicken sammich. Mmmmm, that’s all I can say.  And then you turn your head and you have these spectacular mountain ranges as a backdrop, just awe inspiring. We drove to our next overnight stay at the ArrowHead B&B, about 60 minutes away.  Very nice place, lots of horses and flies.  Throughout the day, I have been a little achy—my left ass cheek is just bothering me, and now I wake up today with an achy ass cheek and swollen shin.  Damn, it sucks to get old.

Today is Monday, September 26, 2016, otherwise known as Mesothelioma Awareness Day!  We are encouraged to wear blue on this day, we are certainly going to be sporting our BLUE today!!

We are off to Bryce Canyon today and then to Moab……I cannot wait!!

Hold the presses…we had to make a little side trip to Cedar City to visit the Intermountain Hospital.  My little swollen shin became a big swollen leg.  We had a stupendous drive through the Dixie National Forest.  The aspen were a golden sea amongst the pines.  So a surprise for me seeing some fall colors in the forest….Spectacular!!

Upon meeting with the great medical folks in Cedar City, it is quickly determined that I have a Deep Vein Thrombosis…that’s right, a freakin’ blood clot in my left leg.  Our trip is taking a different path, we are currently in St. George, Utah and heading south.  We will be arriving in Poway a day or two before planned.  I am a little disappointed to say the least, but this has been such a crazy fun journey that I would not change for anything especially the time spent with Andy!

As we leave Cedar City, we still have a few places that need to be seen…..we end up at Kolob Canyon, a beautiful spot of Zion National Park, that most people overlook.  So, yes a true bummer about the blood clot, but to be enjoying a cerveza within an hour or so of being discharged in an absolutely beautiful serene spot on this planet—not too shabby!

Oh!  And the title of this post is also the title of on of my favorite Clash songs – and one of Andy’s favorites too!  I helped turn Andy on to the Clash when he was little.  I chose this title because we have been debating all day whether to stay … or drive back home due to this nasty blood clot.  I’ll decide tomorrow.   Click here!