Whole Lotta Pain ………….

Pain Management—now you would think that it would be a total no-brainer for a child who came of age in the 70’s … but it is not as easy as it may sound.  I have been so lucky … in the fact that for the first four months of battling mesothelioma … I was basically pain-free.  Now, I am not saying it was a total walk in the park, but for me the after effects of chemo and the clinical trial drugs did not have the now “ever present” 24 hour a day dealing with pain.

I attribute a lot of this with first of all, my strong family and friend base … no one can have you forget your misery like your friends and family … and next, I would say that starting and maintaining weekly acupuncture therapy had a huge positive effect on me in maintaining a pain-free environment.  And as I feel better, I branched out and traveled, and with travel, it seems that the acupuncture therapy was the first to be rescheduled.  Now, in hindsight, do I wish I had maintained a more structured therapy with RiAnn, who by the way is amazing at what she can do with a needle and moxa, absolutely…..but, would I have truly changed any of the amazing trips or experiences that I have been able to enjoy in the last few months, no way.

Fortunately for me, I really did not experience a huge amount of tumor/body/nerve pain until mid-February.  At the time, I thought maybe I was overdoing things … you know there has to be a reason, besides the reason you don’t want to hear … and that reason being my cancer was progressing to the point that I could no longer be involved in the clinical trial at UCSD and would once again be doing chemo — 2 weeks on, 1 week off.  This schedule will continue until 1) The chemo doesn’t work anymore or 2) I am eligible for another clinical trial … either in San Diego or at the NIH in Bethesda, Maryland.

PAIN has become an ever-present daily part of my being.  Sadly, it is totally a “learn as you go” process.  I have a Palliative Team-Doctor, Nurse and Social Worker that we have been in touch with for the past 4-5 months, whose main goal is to maintain a quality of life for me that works for me.  WE started out slow with Norco, then moving on to Percocet and finally pulling out the big guns of using both oral and liquid oxycodone based drugs (yes, oxyCotin).  This all occurred rapidly for me…..more rapidly than I care to admit.  No one has ever said that: NO, you shouldn’t be behind the wheel of a car, NO, you shouldn’t be making any crazy life altering decisions under this medication … but, Randy and I decided about 3 weeks ago, that driving truly isn’t an option anymore.  So, now just consider driving Miss Peggy when you want to do a Happy Hour—I am your girl, as long as you can give me that ride!!

I try to describe what this pain is all about … I have chosen the dog analogy … he may be growling at a distance, he may be yapping at my feet … but when I feel him gnawing at my insides, specifically on my left chest area…that dog needs to be taken to task … cause I really cannot abide by that.  Does anyone know what Fluffy, the dog from Harry Potter, looks like??  He is the one that I try and keep at bay … and with all the pain management, I am doing my best … and will let you know who is coming out on top … hopefully it will be me!!